amy's Journal [entries|friends|calendar] amy ( all the secrets and no one to tell ) love is blindness [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

derek webb [11 Jul 2010|07:28pm] I’ve got faith in the bank and money in my heart i’ve got a calloused place where your ring used to be, my love i’ve traded naked and unashamed for a better place to hide for a righteous mask, a suit of fig leaves and lies chorus 1 i thought the cattle on a thousand hills was not enough to pay my bills and i fell in love with those who proved me wrong and now i want a broken heart now there’s a great pad lock on the place where i was free and i’m feeling bad from swallowing that key now i work real hard but i mostly call in sick of a broken back from the ground fighting back at me chorus 2 i cannot look you in the eye so i check the knots on my disguise ‘cause i fell in love with fashion in the dark and now i want a broken heart chorus 3 i’ve got alibis for every crime a substitute to do my time ‘cause Your heart breaks enough on both our parts so now i want a broken heart now i want a broken heart now i want a broken heart almost make sense*

rilo kiley [23 Apr 2009|01:56pm] Its 16 miles, to the promised land and I promise you, I'm doing the best I can now don't fool yourself in thinking you're more than a man cause you'll probably end up dead i visit these mountains with frequency and i stand here with my arms up now some days, they last longer than others but this day by the lake went too fast and if you want me you better speak up- i won't wait so you better, move fast don't fool yourself in thinking you're more than you are with your arms outstretched to me now its 16 miles to the promised land and i promise you i'm doing the best i can now some days, they last longer than others but this day by the lake went too fast and if you want me, you better speak up i won't wait so you better move fast and some days they last longer than others but this day by the lake went too fast and if you want me, you better speak up i wont wait so you better move fast almost make sense*

[28 Feb 2009|03:03pm] I am attending the Cover Retreat, a public interest conference/networking, put on by Yale Law School. The drive to NH to attend was over 10 hours, but it was well worth it. I got to know Christine, my carpool buddy from Carlisle on the way up here. I was lucky to have such a compatible carmate; it was a really awesome trip. We even smoked a little gange on the way up, so that made the time go by a little faster. The people at this conference are amazing over achievers and what to use their talent to help others, which is such a kick-ass combination. I've met people from yale, cornell, and harvard law. This week has been very humbling. I am applying for a grant to do research in Jamaica, and asked my roommates for their resumes as a model for a vita I have to create to apply. They have all done so many spectacular things and made me feel kind of shitty about my resume. I guess they do have a few years on me, but Cover, the guy who the conference was named after, was already organizing the biggest conference of black steel workers by the time he was 19.I need to keep things in perspective, and realize that we can't all be such crazy over-achievers and just be proud of the things I have accomplished and the experiences I have had. I'm getting some really good advice on law schools here. I would love to attend CUNY or Northeastern, both progressive law schools. I am looking for the most progressive law school out there. However, I really want to move back to Texas to be closer to my grandma, who is recovering from lung cancer for the third time. I miss Joshua a lot. I am striving to be a strong independent women without him, and I think I am doing a pretty good job. There are so many things that are up in the air and it is so hard to be committed to anyone at this stage in my life. I want to be independent. I want to grow. I want to be closer to God. I want to challenge myself. Which is hard to do with someone who I feel so at home with. I really want to start a family with him in 8 years, but that is so far away to plan. However, I think loosing him would be the biggest mistake of my life. These two things are very hard to reconcile. I am lucky is so supportive and so amazing. almost make sense*

COOK [23 Feb 2009|09:03pm] I LOVE JOSHUA AND NO ONE ELSE. While I am scared shitless about him going to Isreal, I am really excited for him too. We are young. No regrets. BUT YEAH HE REALLY AMAZING AND A DINOSAUR TOO. BEST DADDY MATERIAL EVER. almost make sense*

emoness.. if you think this is about you, you are probably right [13 Jun 2007|06:28pm] If you find yourself here on my side of town I'd pray that you'd come to my door Talk to me like you don't know what we ever fought about Cause I don't remember anymore I just know that she warms my heart And knows what all my imperfections are And she said that I was the brightest little firefly in her jar And I just know that she warms my heart And knows what all my imperfections are And she says that I am the brightest little firefly in her jar -copeland almost make sense*

it still stings [26 Apr 2007|08:04pm] You are my sweetest downfall I loved you first, I loved you first Beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth I have to go, I have to go Your hair was long when we first met Samson went back to bed Not much hair left on his head He ate a slice of wonder bread and went right back to bed And history books forgot about us and the bible didn't mention us And the bible didn't mention us, not even once You are my sweetest downfall I loved you first, I loved you first Beneath the stars came fallin' on our heads But they're just old light, they're just old light Your hair was long when we first met Samson came to my bed Told me that my hair was red Told me I was beautiful and came into my bed Oh I cut his hair myself one night A pair of dull scissors in the yellow light And he told me that I'd done alright And kissed me 'til the mornin' light, the mornin' light And he kissed me 'til the mornin' light Samson went back to bed Not much hair left on his head Ate a slice of wonderbread and went right back to bed Oh, we couldn't bring the columns down Yeah we couldn't destroy a single one And history books forgot about us And the bible didn't mention us, not even once You are my sweetest downfall I loved you first -Regina Spektor almost make sense*

[03 Apr 2007|12:32am] i am so happy. i. i talked to my friend Dina today who is on the executive board at USAS - the organization that I am applying for an internship for the summer. well she thinks i will be pleased when I hear back from them. which means i am most likely investigating sweatshops in Africa or Haiti this summer!!!!!! (it was super competitive) i am dying to live in a foreign country. any foreign country really. but Africa in particular. heck yes. ii. i am also applying to Reed and Harvard to do a visiting semester or year. which would be amazinggg iii. i am going to graduate college. it feels good knowing that i am going to be a college graduate. i only have another year if i end up staying at gw next year. iv. the church will want me to live in it if the internship doesn't work out. heck yes. my future is bright. p.s. i love Jesus and mormon boys. i ate borsch and had the most restful/relaxing/fun sunday yesterday. i also met a very cute vegetarian stanford graduate boy. p.p.s. i am hosting an "anything but clothes" event tomorrow to raise awareness about sweatshops. i am going half naked in a plastic wrap top and tin foil skirt. there is going to be a huge map of the world and people will cut tags out of their clothing and put the tag on the map on the country their clothes were made. i will probably pick up some gin because my islamic political thought paper will be done. yesssss p.p.p.s. i get to stay up all night writing a really interesting paper on british and american reactions to islamic political thought. p.p.p.p.s. yay! 1 idea_ almost make sense*

so many crazy adventures [06 Mar 2007|11:42am] i wish i had taken more pictures and journaled more... i need to create some history of all that is going down. almost make sense*

[24 Jan 2007|12:20am] sometimes i hate being a hopeless romantic. it gets me into trouble. i fall for guys who are totally illogical for me to be in love with. i hate how that is. but maybe i should at least be happy that i love people so deeply... while it hurts like hell because i realize that they don't care enough back.... at least it is something i am capable of doing. and it is amazing when it happens and they love me back. i miss being in love. while i just want to go crazy and being in love has sooo much baggage... sometimes it's nice to have that sense of security. i met a homeless man today. his name is ariel. we got into a deep conversation about politics, oil and bush. i think it would be really amazing to start a program at GW where the homeless around the campus (there are so many) talked politics/life/everything with gw students. Like a club or something every week. ariel said he was a criminal at one point in the conversation... but then we both agreed that a lot of things that bush has done are criminal. And Ariel was in the military. I mean come on... being in the military really fucks with your brain.. it's understandable that he might have done some sort of criminal action after the government gave him guns and told him to kill people for oil. it crazy to me to look at how the people that go to die for our country and to kill for our country aren't treated like anything when they return home. so many of them have really crazy mental problems and end up on the street. how can we even pretend to be taking care of Iraq's problems when we can't even take care of our own? i really hope Tracty (gw's president) will sign on to the anti-sweatshop labor contracts on friday. it would clear up so much of my life. it would be nice to start on a new project... ((((i need closer friends)))) like friends back home. i'm getting there. 1 idea_ almost make sense*

[16 Jan 2007|08:30pm] all the boys I have ever been in love with have owned ALL of Elliott Smiths' cds. I wonder what that means... It's not like he is that well known.. and he has like 7 or 8 CDs. maybe i'm really just in love with Eliott and if he hadn't killed himself we would have fallen madly in love and lived happily ever after. also - i come back to school and more than one person has asked if i saw my ex boyfriend over the break.. although i had no plans to do so. i wonder what that means. i wonder how you stop caring so deeply about a person. 1 idea_ almost make sense*

[04 Dec 2006|12:15am] She thinks, we look at each other Wondering what the other is thinking But we never say a thing And these crimes between us grow deeper ..... lights down, you up and die. -dave matthews almost make sense*

[13 Nov 2006|12:19am] Well the future's got me worried Such awful thoughts My head's a carousel of pictures The spinning never stops I just want someone to walk in front And not follow the leader Like when I fell under the weight of a schoolboy crush Started carrying her books and doing lots of drugs I almost forgot who I was But I came to my senses Now I'm trying to be assertive I'm making plans Gonna rise to the occasion yeah Meet all their demands But all I do is just lay in bed And hide under the covers Yeah I know I should be brave But i'm just too afraid of all this change And it's too hard to focus through all this doubt I keep making these to-do lists but nothing gets crossed out Working on the record seems pointless now When the world ends who's gonna hear it? But I'm trying to take some comfort in written words Yeah, Tim, I heard your album and it's better than good When we get off tour I think we should Hang and black out together 'Cause I been feeling sentimental for days gone by All the summers singing, drinking, my friend Wasting our time Remember all the songs and the way we smiled In those basements made of music But now I've got to crawl to get anywhere at all I'm not as strong as I thought So when I'm lost in a crowd I hope that you'll pick me out How I long to be found The grass grew high, I laid down Now I'm waiting for a hand To lift me up, help me stand I've been laying so low Don't wanna lay here no more Don't wanna lay here no more Everything that happens is supposed to be And it's all predetermined can't change your destiny Guess I'll just keep moving Someday maybe I'll get to where I'm going -bright eyes almost make sense*

What's disgusting? Union busting!!! What's outragous?! Sweatshop labor!!! [05 Nov 2006|10:21pm] I almost got arrested this weekend. It was crazy. My very first public act of civil disobedience. I went to a conference at Ursinus College near Philly, and we protested at the King of Prussia mall (arguably the largest mall at the United States) against sweatshop labor. (Protesting inside a mall is illegal because it is private property.) Our group was over 20 people, and we made a big noise. The whole mall was watching. It felt amazing to be able to yell out about injustice. Ever since middle school I've disliked malls because I didn't know where the clothes came from, all I knew was the rumor that they were made by little children in appalling conditions. Malls have always depressed me - everyone just seems content and no one seems to care about the atrocity of injustice right on their skin touching them all over. Security got on us pretty fast. We dodged them for a while, but then they pulled my friend Matthew aside (he was the one leading the chanting at the time) and pulling others over as well. We dispersed everywhere to get out of the mall as fast as we could because the security was getting intimidating. As the group of people I was with was leaving, a security guard asked us where we were going. We replied that we were going to our cars, and he tells us "okay." Then a real cop pulls up. He was REALLY scary. He starts yelling at us and asking us questions. He said that we were surrounded by videotape. I didn't want the rest of the members in the group to incriminate us, so I stated that we have right to remain silent. He still keeps interrogating us, and when I say again that we have the right to remain silent he tells me to "shut up." How ironic. Matthew and Nick come on the scene and some other security guards are following them and they are walking briskly away. The cop yells at them to stop and when Nick takes one step forward the cop and the security guards attack him while he has his hands in the air saying, "I didn't do anything." The hold him there for quite some time trying to get him to talk. The cop then tells our group to put our hands on the cop car. He starts patting us down.. it felt kind of violating, honestly. After taking our names, addresses, and phone number off our IDs he finally lets us go. Cops are so scary. 1 idea_ almost make sense*

[24 Oct 2006|07:44pm] Today was meaningful. I went to a symposium at GWU Law School honoring and celebrating the life and legacy of Louis B. Sohn who recently passed away. Sohn was a law professor at Harvard, contributed to the drafting of the UN charter, and was the model for an outstanding international lawyer. The whole thing was very inspirational. I was of course the youngest there, and it felt special to be a part of continuing his legacy. I got to smooze with the Dean of Yale Law School over champagne. As Sohn would say, the model for an excellent international lawyer is the giraffe: it has its feet in on the ground but its head in the clouds. It seemed appropriate that I was wearing my infamous giraffe skirt. almost make sense*

Dispatch [24 Oct 2006|06:22pm] He said: I have seen the others and I have discovered that this fight is not worth fighting I have seen their mothers and I will no other to follow me where I'm going Take a shower, shine your shoes you got no time to lose you are young men you must be living Take a shower, shine your shoes you got no time to lose you are young men you must be living go now you are forgiven almost make sense*

Roberto [03 Oct 2006|08:40pm] All the time we spent in bed Counting miles before we set Fall in love and fall apart Things will end before they start Sleeping on Lake Michigan Factories and marching bands Lose our clothes in summer time Lose ourselves to lose our minds In the summer heat, I might -Sufjan Stevens 1 idea_ almost make sense*

[29 Sep 2006|12:55pm] wilco and organic white cheddar easy mac is orgasmic and when you are in the right mood almost make sense*

[27 Sep 2006|03:33pm] I'm seeing Broken Social Scene on Nov. 7!! It's probably a bad idea considering... but i'm still excited about it. almost make sense*

<3 [08 Sep 2006|01:39am] I ran to Virginia, crossed the Potomac, and discovered an island (complete with safaris and sunset cruises) - all before you woke up. 1 idea_ almost make sense*

[28 Aug 2006|01:08pm] Today involved a lot of coffee and good conversation. Lately I’ve been hanging out with a lot of my close Houston friends one on one before I leave. I got a chance to hangout with Christine, Katelyn, Caitlin, Rachel, Lucia, and Chelsa. I didn’t get a chance to see Sonya, Oumama, or Paige. It’s really going to be crazy starting all over again. There are so many pieces here of me that are hard to leave behind: the courtyard culture, my genius but fun-loving friends, the harris county green party, two year olds, being so close to Mexico, listening to Sufjan Stevens in my car, and Jacob (and everything that ever was). Last year was possibly the best year of my life. Being eighteen and feeling free. Being a hippie in the truest sense of the word. Living to the fullest extent possible came first, everything else, second. I feel like last year might be the only time in a long time when my sole responsibility was to live up life. It wasn’t about grades, it wasn’t about getting into college (as much as I tried unsuccessfully to make it about it), it wasn’t about how productive I was and what I had to show for it. It was about being 18 and being alive. 1 idea_ almost make sense*

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